Writers on Writing: Emotions and Attraction

This blog post from Sherwood Smith sartorias discusses different ways writers can handle showing emotion and attraction, including some examples: Writers on Writing: Emotions and AttractionI found it quite useful, especially as it relates to my own current novel-in-progress. I commented on her blog but was rambling on enough that it really deserved a post of its own, considering my own process in light of her analysis.My current work-in-progress, Antonia's Fire has a strong romance element that's turning out to be quite tricky. I have to get across that the protagonist is unconsciously drawn to a man, but consciously feels she's not interested, at least for a while, because she's pretty determined that she has Other Plans that do not include love or marriage.Techniques I've employed so far include having her notice things about him in a seemingly neutral fashion, similar to the "checking each other out" in Sherwood's example from the romance novel. Then after they've bonded around their common love of music, I move on to having her recognize, but not act upon, the desire to touch him, for instance, brush a spider web out of his hair. When they end up having to hide in a tight space to keep her from being forced into an unwanted marriage, the obvious solution would be for her to "seek comfort in his arms." Instead, I have her resist this temptation right up until they find they've gotten away with it. After they emerge from their hiding place, she hugs him, then is forced to acknowledge, if only to herself, her own feelings.In a nutshell, I'm finding that the first or most obvious solution is not usually the right one, at least for me. When my heroine has suffered what is to her a crushing loss, I at first thought he'd comfort her by knowing the right words to say, and she'd start to fall in love with him. Then, I scrapped that in favor of having her dismiss his words of comfort, but then he goes and does something to remedy her situation that means much more to her than any words.Another issue I'm dealing with is foreshadowing or frontloading the thought that this relationship is maybe not such a good idea and won't have a happy ending. While I don't want to be heavy handed about it, I'd like the reader to feel at least a few faint alarm bells. I'm handling this in several different ways: the male character shows hints of bad behavior, the two characters have pretty opposite views on some important matters, and there might be just the beginning of professional jealousy or at least the belief on his part that his work is more important than hers, while to her, her work is more important than anything, including him.